Getting through the tough stuff
The PRACTICAL MATTERS:
These past six months have been a time of love, longing, joy, prayer,
pee in my pants laughter, all night long crying jags, unexpected tears
flowing from a yoga pose, meltdowns at grocery stores, faith
questioning, and so much fear and worry that I have been at times
paralyzed. As I have mentioned in my past writings, my eldest son is
currently deployed in Afghanistan. One result of these trying months is
that I will begin to teach introductory yoga to returning student
veterans on the University of Boulder Colorado campus this fall.
Through this time I've found some great friends and support communities, like the organization Give Back Yoga. In preparation for my veterans yoga class, I have been studying the book "Overcoming Trauma through Yoga", by David Emerson, and Bali Malas is in design production for a special mala as a support tool for those of us left behind when loved ones take, or are given, such difficult paths. In this life, most of us, at one time or another, will inevitably be dealt the cards of a son off to war, a husband recovering from an illness, a parent moving into assisted care, a best friend finding a lump in her breast, finding ourselves unemployed, or the dreaded 2am phone call. I have learned that there are some practical matters to assist us all when we are faced with such worry, concern, fear and trauma. Whatever the (worst) case here are my suggestions:
- get some nerve tonic or kava kava, available at health food stores, best for the initial first weeks WTF? times
- try to be nice to others around you, its not always easy as your fuse is seriousuly shortened by the fears
- take your vitamins
- red wine and chocolate, do watch your doses
- get in and stay in your body
- move, exercise, hike, massage all help with above staying connected to your body bit
- don't allow your body to numb out, keep it invovled in the process, moving it will also move the trauma/fear through
- get outside at least once a day, even in rain, for just the sole purpose of looking at the sky
- get outside at night as much as possible, you can communicate through the stars and the moon, knowing these are the same moon/stars shining their miracles down on all involved
- drink water, lots, preferrably princess (princess water in my home is by S. Pellegrino, I am often not found without the iconic green bottle at hand)
- breathe deep often, actual heavy sighs are best and most releasing
- pray. ask others to put him on their prayer/intentions lists, go for broke here, you'll be surprised
- send out information/details, try a bit of a broader reach than perhaps your regualr intimate friend base
- reply to every single reply you get
- vision board, the homecoming, the healing, the end result
- get ass to yoga class
- journal and keep notes, it helps you in retrospect know how things are improving
- teach, share, volunteer, give
- learn to knit, knit socks
- breathe in fresh air
- find a support group, online, in person, may not need be related even to the "issue"
- stay busy, travel, but all in balance, be sure to not move too fast
- did I mention to breathe deep
- go to a yoga fesitaval
- surround yourself with upbeat, positive thinkers and doers
- do not forget about others in your life, ie. other kids, husband. They will be your rocks
- listen to good music, dance
- have a small spray bottle of rose water in handbag at all times, best way to soften tear streaks after a parking lot crying jag
- find a mala, find a practice
- educate yourself on the situation, but only as much as you want to be educated
- mantra, this too shall pass
- get professional help
- ask others you trust if above is needed if you're wondering
- be a bit british, keep calm and carry on
- keep phone charged and close in reach if you think you may be hearing from them
- answer the wierd numbers that you don't recognize and would normally ignore
- go to the movies
- get really big dark sunglasses to go to grocery store in - to cover the bags under your eyes
p.s. with
any luck my son should be home by mid September. My affirmation is that
he will return happy, healthy, and whole, and with much love/support and these
above mentioned practical matters, so should his mom : )
