Bodhisatva of a Leo

I've been taking a good long hard look at myself lately.  Maybe it is my recent birthday that has had this affect on me of seeing what is real in myself.  Maybe it is that my meditation instructor has been gently suggesting I look into Bodhisatva vows for over a year.  Whatever it is it is new to me and a bit surprising.  Being the through and through Leo that I am, I've prided myself on looking good, maybe younger, hipper, sexier, better "put together" than I actually am in reality.  I recently saw some dear old friends, the kind of friends you don't see for nearly forever, but know love you, and you them, dearly.  The type of friends that are in the movie "The Big Chill".  We were having our own Big Chill type weekend at the wedding of one of their children.  I took great pains to wear the right dress, make up, hair, shoes,  to look good to these folks who hadn't seen me for so, so long.  As the night ended it was pointed out to me in the "cutting through my b.s. illusion of myself with a sharp knife only those that love me can do" kinda way that I wasn't as young or as hip as I thought I might be.  And after the sting of that sunk in and stung some more, so did the sweetness as one of them reminded me with a smirk and a large dose of compassion in his eyes, "we all want to be younger sometimes".  In essence, we all want to be what we think of ourselves at times, but we aren't. 

In reality what I've been doing with my reflection, my idea of myself, has been doctoring it up in my own mind.  I am not being down on my appearance here but for some reason maybe coming to peace and to terms with who I am ..... really am, inside and out.  I mean  I think I've manipulated my mind for many many years into believing some stretches of the truth to myself, or at the very least glossing over the rough spots.  Convincing myself, and maybe others too, that what they see is all smooth, good and easy.  I've had many old, sometimes painful memories arrive in my heart and thoughts of late. some things I have almost all but forgotten about.  They are reminders to myself that I always didn't make the best choices, at times I didn't do my best, I have chosen the easy way, what is better for Karyn way, I have lied and manipulated.  This is what is true.  I have also been generous, loving, supportive, and honest, I have also gone out of my way to help others.  This is also what is true.   I feel it is time to stop sugar coating myself to myself.    I am 47 years old.  I have a 24 year old, 21 year old and 19 year old son and a 10 year old daughter.  I have had these four children by three different men.  I divorced my first husband, I left him.  I have wanted to divorce my current husband (thank God he wouldn't allow it) at times.  I have said some pretty unforgivable things to my family (again thank God I think they have forgiven me).  I have acted quite outrageously at times.  I have also been patient and as supportive as humanely possible.  This, I am guessing, is the paradox of being human.

I feel the choice of a Bodhisatva path is before me, at some point,  however before I can embark on that path I think this self examination, naval gazing if you will, is necessary for me.  To put the well being, the actual enlightenment of others before my own is quite a step for a self centered, egotistical, vain Leo gal like myself.  So I am working on being happier now to look at the lines on my face (from the smiles, the tears, the worry, the love and the fears) the thickness of my middle (from the four babies, the martinis, the cheese)  the spider veins (genetics?!)  the nasty words that have flown from my mouth, the selfish actions, the missing tooth (born that way) and the lines that radiate away from my lips (from the smoking, and since I"m being honest here not just the cigarettes from years ago).  I will still try to dress sharp, and try to look my best and I will still be trapped in the samsara of my ego, but it is my hope that I am a bit more friendly to myself, in seeing my complete reflection of myself.  So that maybe in another 10-20 years when I gather with my Big Chill old friends, I will have the truth of all of me shining forth, the Bodhistava in my reflecting back.

Inspiration.

“I am not perfect now nor have I ever been. I am growing, learning, moving forward in my journey and in exploration of this earth. Always striving to be perfect, but never achieving. Because I am human.”  –Alex Minsky
(see full article and photos here)
Inspired.

in·spi·ra·tion

/ˌinspəˈrāSHən/
Noun

1. The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative: “flashes of inspiration”.

I had my blog drafted and half written, already into the format I wanted and was beginning the edit when I stumbled upon this article on this young man, Alex Minksy.  Yes, the photo got me interested, his story kept me reading, and he inspired me.  Sometimes you just have to change course and go with the direction your heart steers you.  Sometimes you just are inspired, moved, and HAVE to take a different route.  Inspiration to me is an emotion, a feeling, it moves you.
There are times when we just can’t help but listen to inspiration.  Inspiration often gets me out of my rut of thinking, the deep gully I have forged in my day in day out, same behavior, same thinking pattern.  I will often see an image, read a story, listen to a song, experience something beautiful, and if I can truly see it for what it is and allow it to move me, this is my definition of inspiration.  Pintrest is a great place for inspiration, especially for a visual person like myself. Allowing myself to feel inspired by even the smallest of things can often subtly shift my perspective, my outlook, my self-imposed pity party.  I think the biggest part of being inspired is first to allow yourself to be inspired.  So often we walk on by, ignore, don’t notice or won’t allow ourselves to open to the inspiration.  It can be a bit heart wrenching, it can be a mirror reflecting back to you things you may not want to see about yourself and the world.  You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable, open yourself up in order to allow yourself to feel and be inspired.
The second key aspect of inspiration is to take action on the inspiration.  To be inspired without acting on it is like watching a movie, seeing moving, beautiful things, then going home and being no different for the experience.  A recent example of taking action on inspiration, was me backing up on a deserted road to get a picture of an amazing house I had just driven past.  I could have kept driving and hoped I had remembered the image, instead I was inspired by the beautiful color of the trim on the house to go back and get the photo.  Now I have a perfect color of blue to create something new.
Open up, let things move you, expose your heart, feel inspired, then, take the action.
Wear Peace is so inspired by Alex Minsky, we are offering a coupon code (see below) and will be donating 5% of our proceeds for the month of August to the Wounded Warrior Project.

Practical Matters

Getting through the tough stuff
The PRACTICAL MATTERS:

These past six months have been a time of love, longing, joy, prayer, pee in my pants laughter, all night long crying jags, unexpected tears flowing from a yoga pose, meltdowns at grocery stores, faith questioning, and so much fear and worry that I have been at times paralyzed.  As I have mentioned in my past writings, my eldest son is currently deployed in Afghanistan.  One result of these trying months is that I will begin to teach introductory yoga to returning student veterans on the University of Boulder Colorado campus this fall.

Through this time I've found some great friends and support communities, like the organization Give Back Yoga. In preparation for my veterans yoga class, I have been studying the book "Overcoming Trauma through Yoga", by David Emerson, and Bali Malas is in design production for a special mala as a support tool for those of us left behind when loved ones take, or are given, such difficult paths.  In this life, most of us, at one time or another, will inevitably be dealt the cards of a son off to war, a husband recovering from an illness, a parent moving into assisted care, a best friend finding a lump in her breast, finding ourselves unemployed, or the dreaded 2am phone call.  I have learned that there are some practical matters to assist us all when we are faced with such worry, concern, fear and trauma.  Whatever the (worst) case here are my suggestions:   

 

• get some nerve tonic or kava kava, available at health food stores, best for the initial first weeks WTF? times
• try to be nice to others around you, its not always easy as your fuse is seriousuly shortened by the fears
• take your vitamins
• red wine and chocolate, do watch your doses
• get in and stay in your body
• move, exercise, hike, massage all help with above staying connected to your body bit
• don't allow your body to numb out, keep it invovled in the process, moving it will also move the trauma/fear through
• get outside at least once a day, even in rain, for just the sole purpose of looking at the sky
• get outside at night as much as possible, you can communicate through the stars and the moon, knowing these are the same moon/stars shining their miracles down on all involved
• drink water, lots, preferrably princess (princess water in my home is by S. Pellegrino, I am often not found without the iconic green bottle at hand)
• breathe deep often, actual heavy sighs are best and most releasing
• pray.  ask others to put him on their prayer/intentions lists, go for broke here, you'll be surprised
• send out information/details, try a bit of a broader reach than perhaps your regualr intimate friend base
• reply to every single reply you get
• vision board, the homecoming, the healing, the end result
• get ass to yoga class
• journal and keep notes, it helps you in retrospect know how things are improving
• teach, share, volunteer, give
• learn to knit, knit socks
• breathe in fresh air
• find a support group, online, in person, may not need be related even to the "issue"
• stay busy, travel, but all in balance, be sure to not move too fast
• did I mention to breathe deep
• go to a yoga fesitaval
• surround yourself with upbeat, positive thinkers and doers
• do not forget about others in your life, ie. other kids, husband.  They will be your rocks
• listen to good music, dance
• have a small spray bottle of rose water in handbag at all times, best way to soften tear streaks after a parking lot crying jag
• find a mala, find a practice
• educate yourself on the situation, but only as much as you want to be educated
• mantra, this too shall pass
• get professional help
• ask others you trust if above is needed if you're wondering
• be a bit british, keep calm and carry on
• keep phone charged and close in reach if you think you may be hearing from them
• answer the wierd numbers that you don't recognize and would normally ignore
• go to the movies
• get really big dark sunglasses to go to grocery store in - to cover the bags under your eyes

p.s. with any luck my son should be home by mid September.  My affirmation is that he will return happy, healthy, and whole, and with much love/support and these above mentioned practical matters, so should his mom : )

Be. Longing....

To be completely seen, through and through.   Some dread it, some crave it.  I have to say I am in the later camp, I adore it when I'm seen, and a bit frightened too.  We all have a primary human desire that several psychologists call a "Sense of Belonging".  After food, water, shelter we all want to belong.  To belong to something, a family, a tribe, a group, a band!  Beings long.  Be Long.  Belongings.   With the evolution of Bali Malas we will be working on this concept of belonging and belongings.  We are excited to be bringing to the site some new, truly exquisite belongings this fall.  Pieces that assist transition, wearing peace, supporting peace in partnerships, all the while aiding us in our sense of belonging, wether it be as a part of something (specially designed mala from yoga trainings) or apart, separate yet connected to something or someone  (your favorite teacher's mala).

Being SEEN in all our glory, through the eyes of someones heart, is a beautiful, intimidating, scary, glorious thing.  What if they see ALL of it, the pimples, the tears, the scars?  Like a tide pulling out before the tsunami of love hits you.  Exposing the sea shells, old tires and rusted tin cans.  We've hopefully all experienced this love wave in some form at several points in our life.  A graduation day, our wedding day, a special birthday or under the tent made of sheets with your lover.  More often than not, after we've exposed or been exposed in someway first.  One of my favorite experiences is to have my children be seen, by that teacher,  a friend,  a neighbor.  Those are the moments I want to just thrust upon that "seer" my love wave. To know someone "gets" them, has seen the old tin cans and rough edges that we all have, and adores them even the more because of it.   The sense of be longing.  beings long.  be-longings.  What are your be longings? 

Wear Peace. Exquisite belongings. 

What does it mean? 

Listen to our interview on
Where is My Guru
and find out! 

PAX CULTURA

"Where there is Peace, there is Culture; 

Where there is Culture, there is Peace." 

- Nicholas Roerich

"March winds are the morning yawn of spring." ~Lewis Grizzard    Under the snow, the mud and the muck are all those tiny, tender seeds that have been planted.  You may even have forgotten you planted them, or what they are, or where and when they are planted.  As I pick through my south facing garden, pulling out of the rose bushes a few shreds of holiday wrapping paper and the pine wreath (that used to welcome our holiday guests but has since lived under a snow bank for months) I am surprised to see a plethera of tender, pale green shoots just popping through the wet, deep, brown crust.  Hmm, what is that plant?  Are those the iris's or the tulips or a weed?  Do I really not remember back to last spring?  What was it I maybe planted there in the fall, some obscure bulb from that garden catalog?  I hope to recall more readily what I have planted in the garden of my own heart.  I am learning that my "mission statement, be it with business or with life, is the roots of all that I grow.  Print out your mission statement, put it somewhere that you see it everyday.  Try to match each step of progress/action with your mission statement as its root.  What would your mission statement sprout?  With awareness I am planting several things to tend through this tenuous time of spring.  Careful to not let others walk on my tender leaves, the newest growth. I've created a "vision board", and designed a macro and micro calendar, all the while asking myself what is it I want to accomplish, why and by when?  Looking at my macro calendar, from now until the summer solstice I've listed my goals/desires around my relationships, job, family etc.  Things like " Daily practice, Stand in my 500 hour certication, Develop a strong teaching base, Improve my relationships with my son and parents, Embrace my lioness, Spruce up our business image".  I then work backwards from the current approaching Spring Equinox and ask what will be done between now and June 21st to accomplish my macro outlook?  I've written here things like " Have "dates" with my mom and son every other week, Daily asana, Write out class development, Find a new logo for Bali Malas."    What seeds do you want to plant, to cultivate, to fertilize, tend to and water?  What small steps daily can be taken?  What bigger steps weekly and bigger still per month?  Time can easily fly by, so slow it down, look at it, feel the dirt in your fingernails, and remember your life is in your control.  You can formulate how you want it to look, feel, smell.  What you will reap at harvest, what fruits you will enjoy as the days get longer, slower, warmer?  Now is the time to tend the garden of your own heart.  How does your garden grow? With names like Dearly Beloved, Pink Martini, Om Shanti and The Muse, and encompassing sunny citrine, smokey amethyst, mauve fresh water pearls, tulsi, rubies and sapphires, our spring collection is certainly worth investigating......

The Lioness

Has Been Awakened

I was born under the sign of the lion, and I do posses many of the typical Leo traits.  I like grandeur, lavish living, children, and praise, lots of praise.  I do not like penny pinching, mean spiritedness, and the ins and outs of boring day to day living (yawn).   However, I do think the majority of my lioness traits have been dormant most of my life.  Nonetheless, these last few years my Leo-self has bent and floated into asanas I never could have imagined.  I have built a conscious business, growing it each year.  I have taught hundreds of yogis and have just completed my 500 hr teacher training with Shiva Rea.  All these events being instrumental to the awakening of my inner Leo, my truest nature.  My lioness has awoken.

Easing into the new year, I have been working on my organizing/arranging/sacred planning for 2012.  (Via my on line sadhana group with Shiva Rea.)  I've been asking myself some questions, what is my experience of myself currently? What is my vision of myself at the end of this next 365 day cycle around the sun?  What do I want to see in my business, my relationships, my health, my creativity, my spirituality? Not exactly easily answered questions, but questions that have led to much pondering and introspection.   I am learning January is an excellent time to muse, to plant future seeds/goals and directions for the new year ahead. 

During my contemplation of the afore mentioned  questions the image of a lioness kept arising.  The lioness who takes care of her young, who lives amongst a tribe, who is in many ways a "householder", all similar circumstances to my own.  Here is how I answered my own inquiry:

"She has begun her new year journey walking stealthily on her huge padded feet into her world of business, children, house holding, spirituality and love. As her feet leave a delicate imprint in the soft new ground of 2012 you will see her sway and swagger with each step.  Her gentle sloping shoulders reflecting her relaxation, her amply cushioned feet gracefully flowing in front of her with each day.  Crouching down to examine things a bit closer, taking "cat" naps in the sun.  Perking up her ears to listen better, and not afraid to growl and bare her teeth if she deems necessary simultaneously shifting to a meditative purr.  She is surrounded by her ever supporting tribe, for she has learned "you are the company you keep."   Her body is healthy and tone, eyes bright with ferocity.  Most noticeable is her heart that is alighted with the fire that she continually tends.  This lioness has been awakened and is ready to gracefully traverse her way through the expanse."

I encourage you to grab your journal and begin pondering and questioning, planning and compass pointing.  You may be ever so pleasantly surprised at what you've cultivated upon reflection on December 31, 2012.

Presents with presence.

Bali Malas holiday presents with presence.

Practice presence with your presents this holiday season. The Mala Tree is decorated and keeping our offices bright, while the snow falls outside and the temperatures drop.  Bali Malas' studio is all abuzz with our trusted elves all pitching in to help fulfill your orders.  Keeping in mind our products are all handmade in Bali, and do take time to get to us, so please be sure to do your shopping early.  We have tried to stock up this year, but as usual, there are many beautiful malas that are just flying out the door! Order today. Jai Ho! Only here for the holidays... Jai Ho!  Think triumphant joy, upbeat, uplifted!  Miniature rudrakshas alternating with hand selected semi-precious stones,  anchored wtih larger  bead.  All threaded and handknotted on matching string/tassel.  All Jai Ho! are approx. 21" long enough to wrap around neck twice or wrist several times.  Limited supplies, available during holiday season only.

Because she loves to be adorned.  Visit our exquisite Sri Collection. Treat yourself or that special Goddess this season with an exclusive piece from our Sri Collection.  Sri, the sacred sound of cosmic auspiciousness and abundance.  We've created this collection of pieces that are of an extremely uplifted nature.  All of these pieces are made with only the highest quality of gold, silver and several incorporate the use of Chikna beads.  Chikna quality rudrakshas are an extremely rare, highly concentrated form of rudraksha bead, only befitting of our Sri Collection mindful adornments.  Very limited offering. 20% Off Coupon Enter coupon code 'holiday' at checkout to receive 20% off your next purchase.  Valid for single use only, expires 1/1/2012

Thanks. Giving.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
-- Hamilton Wright Mabie

At this time of gratitude, Bali Malas extends a deep bow to you, our fans, supporters, customers, net workers and all around Bali Mala advocates.    On a snowy evening five years ago, with my dear friend Soma (the creator of all Bali Malas) visiting from Bali, our little rudraksha mala business was born.  On that night, Soma shared with me her vision of bringing her rudraksha mala designs to the west.  Even though I did not know a RUDRAKSHA from an ACAI berry back then (but do now!) and I often got the word mala confused with the word lama, I thought it was a fabulous idea and immediately jumped at the opportunity.

In these five years, never having operated or owned a business before this, I have been humbled,  bumbled,  and flowed, but mostly I've strived to develop an "awakened business".  We have gone from a whim of an idea to a full fledged business with staff, inventory and everything!  From our very first on line sale (thank you Dave Barry!) to over 400 on line sales so far  this year.  We are in over 50 retail locations in 13 states with an even larger distribution through our partners at White Swan Music.  Growing slowly, but growing we are.   I have learned much about business, but more importantly I have learned about you.  You can't be taken for granted, you can't be given half truths, and when given respect, compassion, honesty and care, you will blossom into the most loyal, heartwarming, supporters any small business could ever ask for.

Sometimes, especially in these busy times, I forget to take a moment and realize what our business is doing.  Sometimes, like in these busy times, I forget how sacred and special our products are,  and can be, to each of you.  What they are to me. I've learned I must stay "awake" in our business to have the business that I want to be, and am proud to be,  a part of.

I have kept a file I call "sweet nothings" of emails I've collected  from you through the years.  Your support and kind words have helped keep Bali Malas going when at times, I wasn't sure I wanted it to.  Here is a sampling of what you've all sent to me that has encouraged me through the years.

"The girls and I LOVE our latest acquisitions from you... they are GORGEOUS!... truly.... "  - Debbie
"Thank you for sharing and please keep offering up your thoughts - you are touching lives and hearts!" - Jolene
"I received the necklace several days ago. It has already had a positive effect in my life."  -Richard
"simply want to say how much i love your products, what you're doing, the feeling i get from your mala, and on and on. basically, thank you! love and peace." - Rachel
"The mala and the matching bracelet just arrived.  Both are very beautiful and you have an extremely happy customer.  My partner will also have a beautiful smile on Christmas day now :-)" - Dave

We are truly blessed to have you as our customers.  Thank you for trusting us with your friends, your families and with yourselves.  Thank you for being willing to adorn the beauty of what you are, to enhance your gorgeous self, with Bali Malas.  It was five years ago and still is today Bali Malas' intent to restore vibrancy, compassion and healing to our planet by the wearing of rudraksha beads.

Wear Peace.

Lost in Transitions....

... my ever present Sherpa of Transition.  

Without whom I would still be wandering around the Spanish Market of Santa Fe.

---

 

As the leaves begin their release from their safe, secure, attached place on the branch, to their ever so long, unknowing, gentle float to land on the ground that has always laid there, just beneath them, fall is upon us.  The leaves will dry and crumble, eventually decomposing to assist  in the cycle.  The signs of autumn have arrived in our town with sharp, crisp air, incredibly gorgeous cloud formations, crackling blue skies, long shadows, and today, a much needed rain.  Fall is a time of transitions.  The transition of going back to a routine of schoo/work for many.  Transition towards the closing of the year.  The moving away from the warmth to the cool.  Swimsuits to sweaters.  As we navigate these transitions it is important to notice how we move through them.  The transitions, the places in-between the yoga postures, the pause at the top of the inhale, the float from branch to ground.  These are the places that interest me the most.  These are also the places that can sometimes be the most dangerous, the least paid attention to, the most unconscious, the places where the ankle turns as we walk off the curb, where the back tweaks moving from a simple Bhujangasana to Ardho Mukha Svanasana.  The mind has often already moved on to whats next, not even realizing the transition is what is happening now.  The space in between is where we are.  These are the places I'm learning to pay the most attention to.  The worst car accident I've experienced was when we were literally in transition, moving from one house across town to another.  Boxes, dog, cat, goldfish and plants packed in the car, already thinking of how I'd like to paint the hallway of the new house, not being present in the moment the light turned red.

Explore it, delve into it. learn from it.  As I pack away my swimsuits, sunhats, and shorts and dig out my sweaters, socks and (gasp!) shoes I try to linger in these spaces in between.  The space where we find ourselves in sundresses with sweaters over them. One foot under the down comforter and one in the cool night air.  The layers on, the layers off, the layers on again.  The space from pool to school, between the cobra and downdog, from apple tree to apple pie, intention and action, between the inhale and the exhale.  They are long, rich, deep and dark,  and without them we would get nowhere.  The question is HOW to we get somewhere, HOW do we use and move and groove through those places in the middle of then (past) and there (future).  Take a moment to watch that leaf leap, what happens right before it drops and right before it lands, take pause in those magical spaces in between.

Reach out...

Reach out and touch someone....  From 1979 through 1983, for those of us who remember those days, the phrase "reach out and touch someone" was an ad slogan for the  Bell System (aka AT&T).  It was based on the premise of the natural  human desire to communicate with others.  These days we don't  need a round dial we stick our finger in and crank, or a wall mounted, short curly corded phone to communicate.  We have so many  avenues, text, email, FaceBook, to name a few.  Communications are at lightening speeds.  However, I wonder if we are actually really  communicating and if so then WHAT are we actually communicating?  Authenticity seems lost.  Looking into anothers eyes seems almost  foreign and a bit intimidating.    I ran into a friend who has a very  strong "social media" presence, and asked him what he has been up  to of late.  His reply was "you obviously haven't been reading my  posts, or blogs, or you would know what I've been up to".  He said  this with all sincerity. Hmmmmm..... FB and texts and blogs are all a great way of spreading the word--  but my soul, my real communication center, has been feeling a bit  slighted lately.  It is having a hard time really "connecting" with others.   Sure, I blog, FB, text, email and tweet, but I long for the slow, face -to --face, look in your eyes, old fashioned way of knowing what is  going on... really going on with one another.  Even in yoga classes we  stagger our mats so we don't have to touch each other.  When I see someone, and even more strongly, when I touch someone, my soul  knows so much more about them than I could ever read in 130  characters or less.  The art of touch I fear is being lost in our society.  What with lawsuits and hyper-technology it is no wonder.  Am I a  neo-luditte?  Possibly, but I encourage you to be brave, dial into  someone's true communication center.  Reach out, really reach out  -- be it their arm, their shoulder, their hand or their soul --  and touch someone!

My Warrior Son and My Warrior Poses

Warrior:  (Tibetan: "pawo")   From my understandings of the teachings of Shambhala Buddhism, the essence of warriorship or the essence of human bravery is refusing to give up on anyone or anything.  The warrior rests in the state of warriorship, rather than struggling to go to the next step.  The warrior experiences a sense of relaxing in his unconditional confidence.  This describes my son.

My sailor son has been home for three days now, and leaves in five days.  I am trying hard to be in the moment with him, hold him when I can and not allow that deep soft part of my heart trigger the tears that flowed uncontrollably when he got off that plane.  Not now, save them for when he's gone again.  Having him home with our entire family has reminded me of that place of bitter/sweet tenderness.  That place some Buddhists call the  genuine heart of sadness.  

"By simply letting yourself be as you are, you develop sympathy toward yourself,  awakening this genuine heart within yourself. ... Your entire being is exposed - to yourself, first of all but to others as well. ... If you search for awakened heart, if you put your hand through your rib cage and feel for it, there is nothing there except for tenderness. You feel sore and soft, and if you open your eyes to the rest of the world, you feel tremendous sadness.   Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others." 

Now as his welcome home sign crafted by his little sister sits on our porch and we send out the evites to his farewell party my heart pulls and that deep untouchable place is prodded again.

My eldest son, he has been in the US Navy now for two a half years.  He left a pretty cushy situation as a sophomore at ASU in Tempe AZ after one of his writing assignments in a class was something of the nature of "what do you want to do with your life, what do you want on your epitaph?"  He choose to serve his country, as odd as that can sound in these times, and especially from a child born and raised in Boulder CO, raised on all organic foods and taken to nuclear plant protests throughout his childhood by his "hippie" mom. 

Off he went into the Navy SEAL program.  He didn't complete the incredibly difficult training of SEALS before he was hospitalized with pneumonia.  He has since been on his first deployment of 11 months in Guam.   Grateful it wasn't to somewhere much more dangerous (anyplace that begins with a vowel.)  It has difficult having him so far away for so long and I've practiced with my warriorship, meditation, bravery, *Vira I and Vira II yoga poses and the occasional margarita, to get me through the tougher times, i.e. Christmas, birthdays, earthquakes/tsunamis.... 

And yet, with all my practice and preparedness I still find my mind drifting to the questions.  When will I see him next?  Will he be deployed to one of those places beginning with a vowel?  Will he come home whole, body, mind and spirit?  Will he come home with another tattoo or with a wife?  Only time will tell and in that time it is my time to learn again how to surf through the days without him close by.  I will certainly be found often in my many variations of Virabhadrasana, including my favorite, crumbled on the floor exposing my genuine heart of sadness. 

As he told me when he first went into the military, we both want peace in the world, we are just coming at the same goal from different angles.  Maybe between his service in the military and my working in a community of yogis, Buddhists, and mala lovers it can actually be attained.  It may just take a bit of both.  It is a centuries old idea, to save the world you have to serve it.
 

Warrior in the world mala part of our new sri collection

My warrior wears a special mala designed by Soma for him, the one personal item he choose to keep with him throughout his trainings. 

*Virabhadra is the name of a fierce warrior, an incarnation of Shiva, described as having a thousand heads, a thousand eyes, and a thousand feet, wielding a thousand clubs, and wearing a tiger's skin. Or military fatigues...

I may have just found a new seva project after reading this article of interest

Q: how has yoga positively changed your life?

I was recently asked this question.
A: Yoga in earnest can strip you of your masks and covers and expose you to yourself.   Which of course is great, and scary.  Not exactly what I would sign up for if on the brochure.   I've learned the deeper the work the more likely the changes you initiate will take hold. 

I began yoga about 10 years ago after the birth of my fourth child. My uterus was collapsing as all the babies I carried were all quite large and surgery was recommended. I thought I'd give yoga a try first. I attended my first class at our local recreation center, mainly because they had childcare.  The teacher was fabulous and unknown to me she was a senior student/teacher of Richard Freeman (of course, I do live in Boulder CO after all). After about 4-5 years of attending her class at the rec center she convinced me to attend the Yoga Workshop studio, Richard Freemans studio, her home studio.  It was quite intimidating at first and why it took so long for her to convince me to attend.  In my mind I was just a mom trying to get in shape and keep my body whole.  I loved those first years of yoga, and I am still friends with many of us who attended this class regularly.  This happens I noticed in yoga, you don't just attend a class, you become friends.   At this time I was just starting the mala business, BaliMalas.com, another great story for another day.  I had met a really dynamic woman named Shiva Rea while attending my first Yoga Journal Conference to sell our malas.  She knocked my socks off!  Shiva, who also used to be a student of Richards was at a conference in Denver that OmTime Yoga was sponsoring. I attended and began practicing more and more at OmTime where Shannon Paige Schneider, a senior practitioner of Shiva's teaches.   Here is where my physical desire for yoga healing transformed deeper into my spiritual/emotional healing with yoga. My uterus was no longer an issue, my health was now optimal but my soul was still a bit unawakened and unobserved.

I joined Shiva's teacher training and between Shiva and Shannon and many many tears on the mat my soul is more awakened and more in the light. All the while my family and dear husband have riden this wave of yoga with me and supported me through it all. I am almost complete with my 500 hour teacher training of Shiva's. My goal is to complete this summer by end of July.

So yes yoga has positively changed my life. I have a thriving business that supports and spreads love to sooooo many because of yoga. Click here for more on the how and why of my business.  I teach yoga twice a week at CU and a class at Om time which so lifts me each time. My physical body is quite possibly the best it has been my entire life. At aged 46 it is nice to love my body.  My relationships have thrived and deepened. My husband was talking to Shiva at the conference we sponsored just last month and said "my wife loves you and you have changed her life".  My emotional health and spirituality feel so right and inspire me each day as a result of my work with yoga.  The key here is to always keep returning to your reflection. What are you seeing in yourself. What is being exposed. Keep showing up and shedding yourself on the mat. Let the tears flow. I love that my mat has been soaked in sweat and tears.  I try not to wash it too often as a reminder of what has transpired on it. 

Much love to those who ask the questions, the curious ones. You are on your way.

Bali Malas is proud to support Bumi Sehat ~ Congratulations Robin!

IBU ROBIN A CNN HERO

Dear Bumi Sehat Family,

Please tune into CNN Heros on Friday, March 11th (schedule below). All of you who support 
and love the work of Bumi Sehat & Ibu Robin Lim, will be surprised and delighted!

Now in its 5th year CNN Heroes shines a spotlight on "everyday people changing the 
world," and we are thrilled to announce that in 2011, Ibu Robin Lim has been nominated 
and named a CNN hero.  This honor is an opportunity to increase awareness about Bumi Sehat 
and to help Bumi find funding for our Community Health and Childbirth clinics, 
educational and environmental projects in Bali and Aceh.  As we write this, Bumi has only
two months of operational funds in the bank. We still need your help.  Over the years all of 
YOU, our sponsors, volunteers & donors, have generously donated your time, energy and 
money, in support of the mothers, babies, families and students of Bumi Sehat. 
Ibu Robin, being chosen a CNN Hero, is truly a tribute to your devotion to her vision.

Thank YOU, Team Bumi Sehat International

www.bumisehatbali.org

CNN Heroes:

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/cnn.heroes/

http://www.facebook.com/CNNHeroes

http://www.twitter.com/cnnheroes

FRIDAY, March 11, 2011

CNN: 8AM, 11AM, 2PM - EST

HLN: 6:30AM, 1:30PM, 6PM - EST

SATURDAY, March 12, 2011

CNN: 2AM, 6AM,10AM, 3PM, 5PM, 7PM - EST

HLN: 8AM, 2:30PM - EST

MONDAY, March 14, 2011

CNNEspanol: 7PM - EST

Tending the Sacred Fire with Shiva Rea

 Shiva Rea 

“Tending the Sacred Fire” Afternoon Workshop

April 3rd, 2-6pm

Tending the Sacred Fire is learning how to tend the energy of our inner fire in practice and in life.

Session I: Fire and Flow; Experience core meditation for tending the inner heart fire, including mantras and mudras to awaken your inner sun (heartfire) and flow of nectar (soma) of the moon. The use of the universal mantras will link us to the greater flow and navigate our core passion into our life. Includes latest sun salutation that uses the creative integrations of namaskars, arm balances, backbends, and root meditation on our inner fire.

Session II: Drops of Nectar; Tending the fire is the capacity to move inward, to harness and regenerate your vital energy through the "nectar" practices of yoga. In this candlelit ritual class, we will experience a seasonally aligned practice including Prana Flow® namaskars, movement meditation, mantra and mudra vinyasa synchronized around the sacred flow of the breath and inner nectar visualization.

Hosts: BaliMalas.com and MovingMuseYoga.com

   

Location:

Aloft Hotel 

8300 Arista Place, Broomfield CO 

303-635-2000

Registration: BaliMalas.com

• Session 1, 2-4pm 

• Session2,4-6pm

Price:  $65 for both sessions, after March 15th $75. Individual sessions $40 each.

Other:  Please arrive early to enjoy our vendors, and settle in to the space.  We do expect to sell out, so the room will be full.   Please bring a mat!

Living Flow - Tending the Sacred Fire is a universal spiritual and practical metaphor for centering ones life-energy within the core essence (fire) of ones heart. Like our sun, the heart is a source of life-giving energy and self-organizing guidance.  Tending the Sacred Fire is living authentically in the ebb and flow of the world, so that our passion for life keeps strong as the internal and external winds of change challenge our fire-keeping skills. The ebb and flow of our own inner sun and moon is a reflection of our daily need to align with the rhythms of living.  Tending the Sacred Fire rituals are universal ways we keep our spirit, our inner fire, alive amidst the flow of life. This fire-keeping is at the core of all yoga practice where in Vedic, Tantric and Ayurvedic traditions practice takes place around a fire altar known as a kundh, literally "womb" where the alchemical processes of purification, death and regeneration are tended to on a daily basis. When people act from the inner fire of their heart, mountains move. Their beauty is piercing. Their creativity illuminates.  Looking forward to seeing you there!  

Fire & Flow and Drops of Nectar; Prana Flow Yoga with Shiva Rea, Boulder/Denver CO, April 3rd 2-6pm

Space is limited, register at Balimalas.com

Finding Zen in 2011

Finding Zen

Is it normal to be impatient with a water dispenser while you are on vacation at a spa?  I asked myself this as I walked down the hallway to my beautiful room fully cocooned in my plush white robe and slippers.  I am currently on retreat with my beloved husband celebrating our 12 wedding anniversary and the new year.  We are celebrating in the gorgeous town of telluride Colorado with its frozen bridal veil water fall sitting as an exclamation point at the end of it's box canyon.

I always considered myself a slow person. My canter has been often described as a saunter. I am actually borderline slacker in my book. I dont "work out" every day nor do I " practice" everyday even though I know I would be a better person if I did.  I really didn't think I had that much  more slowing down to do.  I thought I was more chill than I clearly give myself credit for not being. I thought maybe I was a type B.5 person smack between a type A and a type D.  Turns out, not so much.   

The steam in the beautiful steam shower here at the spa does not come on fast enough.  The humidifier in the room or even the water from the dispenser, not fast enough, hot enough? Impatient. Quick to a negative thought quick to frustration. Too quick. Too blatantly noticeable in this environment.  Not very becoming.    I was in Bali earlier this year and watched people WORK for their drinking water. Have I become that speedie and that impatient?  Have I rushed through this year that much?  Have I hurried along the birthdays the holidays so that I can check them off the never ending to do list I'vve called my life. What am I rushing to?  Where the heck do I think I'm going anyway?  

We have all had the experience of letting go and trusting and being spontaneous and have had incredibly wonderful memories of those times (and yes some not so great memories too but would you have traded it for going on the well worn path? Perhaps ). The tightrope.

Walking that knife edge of attending to the responsibilities that I've chosen to grace my life with and being a complete slacker and letting go too much.  The ying yang the tantra the having it both ways simultaneously.  I know it's possible. I've seen others living it. I've seen it in others eyes.  I know the feeling. Ive touched it. 

As a kid the balance beam was my favorite gymnastics apparatus.  Grip with the toes that's the holding on part. Setting the shoulders and hips that's the staying on part.  The mind and the breath thats the knowing I will nail it part.   I can do this. I've done it, we've all done it and do it in so many areas of our daily lives   The in-between. The gentler place. The place of more acceptance and forgiveness. The place of tolerance and support. The moving on a wooden beam four inches wide four feet off the ground place  So as we round the bend into 2011 I go in with the hopes of slowing 2011 down.    Being more patient with the water dispensers in my life. Gripping my toes when I need to hold on, squaring my shoulders and hips in the direction I want to go and believing in myself and what I've chosen.

Happy new year may yours be all of 525600 minutes long!